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I remember in the early days in Boston we were planning a banquet. Two middle-aged ladies were real crackerjacks in gossiping. Unsuspectingly, I had given them charge of the banquet. But someone said to me, “Beware of these two. They have caused much trouble for other teachers.” That put me on guard to watch their behavior.
As banquet arrangements proceeded, my secretary put place cards on the head table designating certain persons to sit there. These two ladies started fireworks: “Why should these persons be on the platform and not us?” To restore peace, these guests were seated down at the other tables.
One day, these two ladies started disrupting organizational plans of the center. Their intention was to be the leaders of the work in Boston. So I called them aside: “Do you accept me as your spiritual teacher?” They said, “Yes.” I said, “Will you listen to me?” They said, “Absolutely.”
They thought I was going to place them in positions of importance. After a little while I saw them separately, and I told each of them what I described as a secret and asked them to promise they would not divulge that information. They agreed. After a few days each one had “secretly” told many others what I had told her.
When they realized what was happening, a feud broke out between the two of them. I then distanced myself from them. But they sought me out. I was in the Boston Plaza Hotel. They called me on the phone and wanted to see and talk with me. I said, “I will see you provided you speak very calmly; the minute you raise your voices, I will leave.”
When I came down to the lobby, they were trying hard to control themselves. They said, “What is the idea of telling the ‘secret’ to each of us?” I answered, “To show you that you cannot be trusted; that you are disloyal, and that you love to fight and to gossip. By this means I have convinced you about your wrong behavior.
I told you something that was of no importance, just to see if you were capable of keeping a confidence or if you would give in to your habit of stirring up trouble with your gossiping. The fault did not lie in the teachers who have come to this town and whom you have criticized so freely.
The fault is in your own natures. I asked one thing of you and you could not keep your word. Do you realize how your reputation makes you disliked in this city? Now the trouble you give to others has come back to hurt only you.
If you cannot keep one promise of confidence given to your spiritual teacher, how can you expect others to have confidence in you? If you don’t keep faith with me, you won’t keep faith with anybody else. Are you truly at peace and happy within your own souls?” I was sincere with them, but I gave them that day a very honest and earnest appraisal of their behavior.
After doing so, said, “Now, I am not going to shut you out of my classes. But you must promise me that you will not talk against anyone during the class series. Do not think of yourselves as teachers. As long as there is prideful desire to teach, you are not qualified to teach. First you yourself must live it. If you do that, others will follow your example.”
And do you know that hour after hour they attended the classes and didn’t once disturb anyone. They were the meekest of students. You see, I got along with them all right because I did not get angry. I used tact to bring them to the sudden realization of their mental weaknesses.
But getting along with others cannot be done only by tact. It also requires example, calmness, evenness of mind, sincerity, joy, doing everything in an honorable way; not clinging to pride and egotism; and not governing your actions by what everybody else does, but doing those things that please God.
Find your peace by meditating regularly and deeply, and you will be surprised to see how your relationships with others improve.
Sourece: Journey to Self Realization page 140-141
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